So my dentist is a million years old, right?  I love him.  Seriously.  He’s an Irish redhead.  He’s all grandfatherly and shit and (!!!) he tells Irish jokes.  He laughs a lot.  He is my dad only 60 or 70 years older.

Anyway, because he’s older than dirt, he’s working less so he hired some new dentist chick to pick up the slack .  She greeted me by her first name and gave me leave to use it.  Ok so, maybe I need my doctors to be authority figures who have Doctor in front of their last name.  I have trouble with, “You can call me Bambi.“¹  AND!!! she will maybe turn 17 years old next June.  AND!!!  I’m fucking stunned she wasn’t yapping —about her period to a guy— on her cell phone the whole time. But she actually has a D.M.D after her name.  I have this crazy idea that a doctor should be at least 35 years old, preferably 40,  who introduces him/herself as Doctor Lastname who looks sufficiently stern yet compassionate.  I’m even more pleased when they call me Mrs. Miss Ann Thrope….or my real last name, either / or until I ask them to please call me Miss Ann and…or my real first name, either / or.

I am my father.  We’ll discuss that in a minute because it’s an aside to the original topic of this post, which is dentistry.

So with a toothache, because I fractured the fucking thing by trying to open a freakin’ pill bottle with my teeth which just a tip: don’t do that,  I wasn’t all into waiting a week for my beloved Doctor Lastname so I accepted the appointment with Dr. Bambi…I have to put the Dr in there because I seriously cannot bring myself to call her simply Bambi.  It’s just a pulled tooth or maybe a root canal which I totally would wait, in excruciating pain if necessary, for Doctor Lastname to perform.  So what could go wrong? 

So Dr. Bambi says that I broke it under the gum and it would be difficult if not impossible to do a root canal because there probably wouldn’t be enough surface left for bond to adhere to for a crown.  Giving her the benefit of the doubt, I said ok.  It took her like 10x longer to take this tooth out than any other tooth I’ve had removed.  Hell, I’m pretty sure they took out my full bony impacted wisdom tooth in less time.  Seriously.  Finally it’s out and I hear what I swear to God sounded like an “Oops”  but I think it may have just been a very quiet “ooo” sound.  But whichever it was, just um:

Dr. Bambi then sheepishly announces that the tooth next to it broke “During the procedure.“

And I flash back to how they make you sign the paper every time you need a “procedure” that tells you about all the horrifying things that can happen when they do nasty shit to your mouth.  One of the things on that paper specifically mentions other teeth may be broken.  Howfuckingever, I am extremely unhappy that I will now have to fork over approximately $600 -that would be six fucking hundred dollars- for a root canal, a bond and a crown for a tooth that didn’t even have a freaking cavity AND it’s right next to the eye tooth so if I smile I will look like the white trash some people say I already am.  Um, no.

So I called the office to bitch and complain at the day receptionist, whom I call Mrs. Receptionist because even though she’s one hell of a nice lady whom I’ve seen a couple of dozen times, exchanged recipes, discussed clothing, children and automotive issues, she’s way older than me and you just add a little formality when you address older people…or I believe you should…so I do.  Anyway, I told her about the broken tooth and how I am greatly distressed not only by the loss of a real tooth but by the fact I will be forking over money because “Just call me Bambi D.M.D” is a fucking incompetent twit.  She said I will be called back by Doctor Lastname after 5 PM.  We’ll see.

So about turning into my dad.  It’s this thing where I am pretty much convinced that 99.99999% of people under the age of 35 are fucking morons.  Too much information, no shame, no dignity, irresponsible fucktards who think they are just so friggin’ bright and cool and “open” and “putting it all out there” is healthy and informality is “equal opportunity because I’m just the same as you” and entitled to every fucking thing, I’m not responsible idiots who do shit like forcing schools to call police when 8 yr old Johnny smacks 8 yr old Jimmy for assault and battery and actually want the kid arrested.  Seriously.

I’m having more and more trouble respecting Generation X or wtfever they call themselves. 

I’m have been at that point where I’m old and curmudgeonly…only the female version..for quite sometime and it’s getting worse.  I am becoming more and more disenchanted with the idiots we (the baby boomers) have created by being incredbly fucking stupid ourselves and they’re raising people who will be even more ignorant than they are by treating their kids like fragile little “it’s not your fault and just because you suck at soccer doesn’t mean you shouldn’t get a trophy too” jewels who need bottled baby water (seriously) and organic clothes and homemade baby food or they will not thrive and let’s not forget attachment parenting and family beds.  They want to be their children’s best friends.  Fucking what the fuck ever.

I am becoming more and more un-fun.  I’m a judgemental bitch and it’s just getting worse as these people get more and more self-absorbed and take less and less responsibility for themselves and their spawn.  And I will have to depend on these morons in 20 years or so.  That scares the fucking shit out of me.

¹Not her real name but not far off, I kid you not.

PS:  My mouth hurts and I’m fucking cranky and Doctor Lastname might want to forego charges for fixing the damage done by Bambi D.M.D.

UPDATE:  I just looked at the plan the receptionist gave me outlining what needs to be done.  The total cost comes to $817.  Um, if I have to pay for this I am going to lose my mind and you’ll be reading about the crazy bitch who shot up a dental office.

Posted on: Wednesday - 11.19.08 @ 1:38 PM
Posted by: Miss Ann Thrope
Filed in: And Fuck You Too · OMFG! WTF?! ·
Comments: 2

I get a tooth pulled in an hour.  If you need me, I’ll be the one laying in the recliner, whining like a little bitch and getting loaded on Tylenol 3.  Please begin feeling sufficiently sorry for me at 5 PM EDT.  Thanks ever so much.

Posted on: Tuesday - 11.18.08 @ 3:40 PM
Posted by: Miss Ann Thrope
Filed in: Me, Me, And More Me ·
Comments: 11

This post requires (yes, requires…you have no fucking choice in the matter, kthx) your input on five (5) different topics because I am thinking again.  Sorry.  I really do try not to do too much of that.  And try to stick with me past question one.

1.  I would like help from those religious type people who read bibles and torah’s and such and actually believe in their instruction.  Here’s my question:

Is there any reference whatsoever pointing out whether or not sex with a child is wrong.  Wait!  Wait!  I don’t have sex with children and I don’t encourage anyone to have sex with children.  This is purely a question, hear me out.  So…I was raised a good little Catholic girl until I was saved and gave up any form of religion as being the work of the devil.  Anyways, when I was a good little Catholic girl, I was a devotee of the bible.  I can quote scripture like nobodies business.  I liked reading the bible. I still like reading the bible. 

I watched some sex in the bible show on the National Geographic (omfg please kill me) channel and even though GeekMan was napping…he almost always naps when I watch stuff like that…I spoke aloud and somewhat forcefully, “I cannot remember…I can’t pick out…I’m having trouble…“  to which he replied, “This is new?.“  I tossed an evil glance at him and went on:  “You were raised to be a pretend Catholic right?“  He says, “Yeah.  My parents played the game.“  “Did you ever read or study the bible?“  He says, “Only what they made us do in catechism.“  Ok, no help there but I asked anyway.  “Can you think of any bible passage that specifically discusses adult sex with children?“  He did not gasp and call me sick.  He knows the way my mind works.

So, I’ve got my neuron in overdrive trying to remember any scripture that mentions pedophilia or child sex…and I can’t pick out a damned thing.  Nothing is coming to mind.  Most sexual discussion in the bible is pretty much focused around incest and adultery with one vague mention of homosexuality which isn’t technically about homosexuality but the King James version is the most widely read and it’s changed lots of wording.  Anyways…

I need hard copy.  I need a piece of scripture.  I need book and verse.  I need it to not be obscure and vague.  I almost called Charred for this but I’ve used him for religious purposes in the past and I hate to do that again…but I think I’ll call him anyway, cuz I can, that’s why.

Oh and this would be because my fuzzy little mind went, “Hell, did we, as the sheeple followers, tell us how to lean and where to turn” idiots that we are, actually come up with a moral all on our own without being told to believe by commandments or golden rules or wtfever?  Seriously.  So I gotta know if it was told to us that it was wrong.  I’m assuming someone will point out scripture to me because I find it wholly unbelievable that we would actually make a moral of our own.

So yeah.  Moving on.

2.  Do you care about your web stats.  Do you measure your popularity based on your stats?  What about comments?  How many comments constitute “a lot” of comments?  How many do you need to feel like you’re getting your point across?  Do you think people who get more than 30 comments on an average post are popular bloggers?  Do you put your blog out there using every blog tool known to mankind so the unwashed masses can come and worship you as the blog god you are sure you are?  Or do you think people who have an undying need to be the next Dooce are desperate for affection and pathetically needy with an inferiority complex?  What do you think makes a popular blogger?  What keeps you coming back to any blog?  Could you stop blogging for a month?  (I almost wrote ‘cold turkey’ but that implies addiction.  )  How would that make you feel? 

3.  Christmas cards.  Do you ask people (via your blog) to contact you if they want an xmas card from you?  Why do you do that?  Do you always send cards to people you don’t know well enough to already have their address?  Do you ask people to send you their birthdate so you can mail them a birthday card?  Wouldn’t you rather get a card based on a heartfelt thought than a,  “My xmas card is cool and I just know everyone wants a card from mememememe!!!!!!!?“  And!  Why would I want to offer up my address to receive a cursory, “you signed up to get a card from me so here it is?“  What if the person already has your address?  Do you still have to specifically ask?  Do you find this pretentious and arrogant or is it just me?

4.  If the internet died tomorrow, would you freak the fuck out?  What would you do if you couldn’t go online all fucking day?  This is an especially important question if you are 20-ish years old and have trouble remembering life before the internet.  Also people in their mid 30’s who are totally fucking addicted because they became that way in their 20’s when they should have been going to the bar picking up chicks/guys to have unprotected sex with.) Would you know how to entertain yourself?  Would you know how to participate in an actual life outside your house?  Could you go out and make friends by actually speaking to people?  How big of an effect would losing contact with strangers cause you?  Would you take up a hard copy diary or just go back to bitching about shit to your spouse or friends?  Assuming there never was an internet how many friends do you think you’d have?

5.  Do you intend to say Merry Christmas or Happy Holidays?  (I’m not gonna touch Hanukkah because as far as I’m concerned xmas is over when Hanukkah starts.)  Will you unabashedly use the word Christmas?  Will you tell the 2% of the parade rain-er on-ers who screech, “OMFG!  xmas offends me so take your nativity scenes off the town square because I am so fucking offendedddddd!!!“ that Christmas is a holiday to celebrate the birth of Christ who was a real person who definitely lived and it just so happens that it falls near winter solstice (12-21,) a pagan holy day and someone decided it would be a good time to put up a tree and give people presents?  Will you tell them that except for shopping and trees and the Salvation Army, it’s pretty much just like the Martin Luther King’s birthday holiday or President’s Day which go fucking picket the government so the post office doesn’t close because some long dead dudes did a good thing or were alive or whatever they did?  Will you make it clear to the Happy Holiday - take your xmas tree down - no nativity scenes ever set that Christmas is the celebration of the birth of Christ and you are free to celebrate birthdays any way you please and they don’t have to participate?  And why does no one seem to care about Happy Halloween?  It’s a Christian holiday, All Hallow’s Eve.  It’s also a pagan celebration.  What about Happy Easter…with Christ on the cross plastered all over everything?  Will you say Merry Christmas or will you say STFU k plz thx?  Me?  I’ll say it if it’s said to me because I don’t celebrate either the birth of Christ, Santa Claus and I don’t do presents.  I usually do wish people Merry Christmas in their comments if I feel like typing.  But if someone says Happy Holidays, I think I’ll ask them which holidays are the happy ones.  Seriously.

Are you a “Happily Holidays” PC sheep or an OMG I’m so offended type or do you just say Merry Christmas like you always did before the minority started pitching a fit over everything??

PS:  I have a toothache and have to get the fucking thing pulled tomorrow.  And I have insomnia.  Also, on the TMI front, I have a yeast infection.  And my boobs hurt.  I am feeling cynical, bitter, jaded and generally cranky.  Do answer my questions and/or call me a fucking asshole in the comments.  Seriously.  Even though I’m cranky and miserable, I’m totally ok with your outrage over the shit I just said and I won’t hurt you for it.  Thx ever so much.

PPS:  This is not spell checked or even checked at all.  I hope Tug can follow this mental vomit full of run-on sentences, asides within asides and all that new English.  That would be Miss Ann’s own personal English language.  Good thing I’m not multi-lingual.  I’d be fucking up multiple languages.

Posted on: Monday - 11.17.08 @ 4:41 PM
Posted by: Miss Ann Thrope
Filed in: Inquiring Mind ·
Comments: 62

I just got done reloading my puter.  I got a new motherboard, cpu thingy, memory and hard drive and possibly other stuff I don’t know anything about.  But the graphics card sucks so I have to wait til the killer new one comes in before I can play the Sims.  OMFG!  I am Simless.  And my DVD burner upped and croaked in the middle of installing the games.  How annoying.  Of course WinXP lost it’s mind because I changed hardware so it didn’t want to recognise my license.  Communist pig bastards.  Seriously.

A new Thai place opened up close by.  This is GeekMan’s favourite food.  I, however, have never had the spicy Thai because it’s hot and it burns my tongue and I am spicy enough on my own dontchaknow.  I like the sweeter dishes.  But Guess What??  GeekMan has never had sticky rice.  True story.  A fan of Asian cuisine never having experienced the joy that is sticky rice?  Fucking amateur.  Seriously.  So to introduce him to this wonder, I gave him some of that Nam Jim Jeaw sauce they gave me with my Seua Rong Hai (barbeque beef) which is like this Thai barbeque sauce but is wicked on your tongue and then I gave him a basket of sticky rice and told him just to use his fingers, grab a bit of rice and dunk it in the sauce.  Sticky rice absorbs sauce sorta like bread and the ‘sneak up on you hot’  sauce eventually made his brain explode with heat but he now loves sticky rice except he ate so much of it he made a big pig of himself and groaned for 3 solid hours.

But check it.  I had this yummy little apple cake for dessert and it had a little marzipan apple on top and GeekMan was utterly fascinated by this.  He’d never seen it or heard of it.  He’s not very worldly.  Heh.

My gf called me because she called like 6 times and I never called her back because someone doesn’t bother to tell me these things.  She tells me that Lisa keeps emailing me and I never reply.  She asked if I was avoiding her.  I told her no but I was avoiding Lisa...she’s the one who is going out with a guy I used to date 99999 years ago…which would be fine except she really really really keeps pushing him on me, like constantly putting him on the phone so we can ‘chat’ which he actually said to me that he doesn’t remember going out with me.  For a year.  We dated for a fucking year.  Ok, so I may not be the most memorable person in the world but one would think he’d, at minimum, remember my freakin’ name.  But!!!  He talks about me to Sandi telling her I dumped him…which I did…for doing one “bad” thing in a year.  Which I did but it was a bad bad thing.  Anyways, so while he refuses to acknowledge me to me, he apparently does to other people which creeps me the fuck out and I don’t want to buddy up to a guy I went out with 26 fucking years ago who appears to be a lot fucking weirder than I remember.  They call it breaking up for a reason. 

And!!!  They both drink, which I’m ok with drinking except they’re both sloppy drunks and I can’t stand a drunk who turns ‘fun’ into a license to act like a dumbass and display a total lack of dignity.  Sandi says you were always like that, you never liked drunks…even when you were drinking yourself.  Very true, I always hated a ‘dirty’ drunk…chicks who act like sluts and guys who get all macho fuckhead and people who get loud and obnoxious in a general sense.  Ya know, that thing they say about being who you really are when you’re drunk?  Yeah well, if that’s the way they really are, they’re an embarrassment.  I can drink and have fun without acting like a gutter slut.  Anyway, Lisa has always been one of those people who gets mean and fights and shit.  That’s even worse than acting like a “used hard and put away wet” gutter slut.  Seriously.  People who are mean drunks are not my thing so going out drinking with her…which is apparently the only thing she wants to do, is not my idea of a fun time.  So I’m avoiding her.  But not Sandi.  I’m not avoiding her.

Anyways…

I have to wash clothes and it’s kinda hard to keep being so incredibly interesting, ya know?

Posted on: Saturday - 11.15.08 @ 3:43 PM
Posted by: Miss Ann Thrope
Filed in: Friends · Yeah So Whatever ·
Comments: 12

Posted on: Tuesday - 11.11.08 @ 4:35 PM
Posted by: Miss Ann Thrope
Filed in: Cat Mommy Blogging ·
Comments: 10

I love Stephen King’s stuff.  I have since ‘Salem’s Lot came out in 1974 and hit my mother’s book shelf.  She was an avid reader.  I never saw her without a book in her hand.  I was 11 when I read it.  That book scared the bejesus out of me but not as bad as something called The Manitou that I read I fwe years later.

Anyway, I just finished Blaze.  I liked it.  But here’s the thing, sometimes I have real trouble getting into a Stephen King book.  I started reading The Stand, couldn’t get into it, put it down, came back to it a year later and was engrossed by it.  Same with The Gunslinger.  Same with Lisey’s Story, which I still haven’t got beyond 40 or so pages of that; she annoys me and comes across as a weak character.  Maybe someday.  And then same thing with Blaze.  That one sat on my table since I bought it, which was immediately.  I have, but have not read, Duma Key and now another one is coming out.  And there was a time when I snapped up my Stephen King books and read them in an evening.  I did with Cell and From A Buick 8 but these last two, not so much.  ‘Course, I spent all last winter crocheting.  Maybe I’ll spend this winter reading.

Last year I wrote a post about re-reading Bag Of Bones and being struck by how many similies he used.  It got so it was all I was seeing and had to put it down.  I’d read it before.  It wasn’t one of the ‘can’t get into it’ books.  I remember liking it.  I do not remember being struck by the excessive use of similies.  Funny, that.

Anyway, I finished Blaze, I liked it and now I have to go search through a metric ton of boxes to find Duma Key.  Lisey’s Story can stay wherever it is.  I still haven’t read the rest of the Gunslinger series, that would mean re-reading all of them to keep with the rhythm and catch up on what I’ve forgotten…which is a lot.

I have no idea why I wrote this post.

Oh look!  Judge Judy’s on!

Posted on: Monday - 11.10.08 @ 4:46 PM
Posted by: Miss Ann Thrope
Filed in: Yeah So Whatever ·
Comments: 11

I’m gonna go puy a pack of Marbs then go to KFC.  After that, I’m going to the grocery store to buy some Sunny D then I’m going home to have an MGD 65 and watch some Nat Geo.

WTF! 

Ok, I’m all over acronyms when you have to type the fuckers out.  I can even handle (somewhat) kids typing things like, “U r” as long as they don’t write like that on paper.  But there is no fucking excuse and/or reason I can see for speaking in acronyms.  Speech is fast.  It’s not a pain in the ass to say Marlboro, Kentucky Fried Chicken, Sunny Delight, Miller 65 and National Geographic.  Seriously.  They say this is “hip” and is designed to appeal to younger people.  I bet a lot of kids don’t even know what KFC really stands for.

Here’s what I have to say about this:  Young people are lazy, moronic, dumbass dipshits who revel in their stupidity.  Baby boomers are fucked.

The End.

Posted on: Sunday - 11.09.08 @ 3:41 PM
Posted by: Miss Ann Thrope
Filed in: STFU 'K PLZ THNX ·
Comments: 6